Fight like a Girl

Category Archives: Breastfeeding

Dear Women’s Ministry/conference/Church,
Almost a year ago I signed up for a local church women’s conference. It is a fairly popular one day conference that many of the ladies go to from all different churches in my region. My mom and Aunt were attending and I was so looking forward to getting out and being blessed with them. There was only one problem. I was nursing a baby. My youngest daughter was about 6 months old at the time and exclusively breastfed. This means, she did/would not take a bottle (we tried a few times. She wasn’t having any of that) and as a young baby, she still needed to nurse frequently enough that I could not leave her for more than about 2 hours at a time. Maybe 3… but that could be pushing it. After all, nursing infants can be unpredictable. When I called to register I asked the nice girl on the phone if there was a cry room or some place I’d be able to move to if my nursing infant were to become fussy. She replied that she was sure there were places i could go but she needed to double check and would call me back. Now, I know these conferences are like vacations for us moms. We don’t bring kids. There often is no childcare. I knew my older children were not to attend and I had to find childcare arrangements for them and that was fine. but surely I could bring my nursing baby, I thought. I wouldn’t be rude or make people hear her crying. I’d slip out respectfully if she got fussy but how could a baby who still depends on their mother for their food and drink be unwelcome? Hours later I received a call from the same girl, now embarrassed letting me know that a nursing baby was not able to come. No babies. period. I knew this girl was not the decision maker on this issue and was purely the messenger of bad news. I took the news and swallowed it and she asked for my address so she could send my a free copy of the audio of the conference as an apology. I accepted this offer and hung up in disappointment. As it sunk in what had happened and the day went on I became more upset. Hurt even.

While I understand that children are not always able to be accommodated for or welcome to all events, how could my nursing infant caused me to be shut out of a women’s conference?

nursing my baby girl

nursing my baby girl

So this is what I want to tell you all. Anyone involved in church leadership or coordinating events with your religious organization-

A lot of your women are moms. I’m sure you see it all the time. You look around your congregation and think, “Surely, this is the most fertile church in the world?!” There are babies everywhere at church! Us moms are rocking them and bouncing them and shushing them and pacing your welcome areas and filling your cry rooms and checking on them in your nursery and feeding them in your nursing mothers room. We are a fertile people! Blessed. and tired. Very tired and lacking proper adult socialization. We need breaks! We need renewal. We need some time out of our homes being reminded that we are more than just dirty diaper changers and PPD battlers.

So we need your women’s conference! We need it like we need clean water to drink. We are begging for your fellowship and love and motivating message of renewal and strength.
With how many mothers there are, Many of us are breastfeeding moms. Actually about 76.9% of us U.S. moms are breastfeeding our newborns and 25% of us are still breastfeeding when our babies reach 12 months old. That’s a big chunk of your moms. And while some of us have great eaters who will switch from breast to bottle, many babies who breastfeed  refuse eat from a bottle so leaving them for hours to attend any kind of lengthy event is not an option for us.

When I turn to scripture on breastfeeding it is also evident that God is not ashamed of breastfeeding. He encourages breastfeeding and he also invited mothers and their nursing babies out to large public events-

“Joel 2:16 – Gather the people, consecrate the assembly; bring together the elders, gather the children, those nursing at the breast. Let the bridegroom leave his room and the bride her chamber.”

Our nursing babies seem more than welcome to this wedding.

And while I am not anti moms leaving their babies for some time to themselves, it just is not my style. I am emotionally and hormonally bonded to my infant. When I am not with my infant, I miss them and my breast become uncomfortably full, and I even leak milk. This is all part of how we are designed to be. We are designed to be with our infants and not separated for long periods down to our core molecular makeup.
I’m not the mother who forgets my baby and can run off for awhile. “Isaiah 49:15 – Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?..

So lets face it, When nursing babes are excluded from an event, it is not babies being told not to come- it is mothers. The mothers are the ones being shut out. The mothers battling hormone changes and explosive diapers and cluster feedings from growth spurts. Sleep deprived, under-socialized, just coming out of their postpartum fog- moms. Because lets face it, God created us to make our babies our priority. Unless I’m running to the food store down the block to pick up a quick item and running straight home again- my baby is not being left home. My baby is part of me. When she is hungry, my breasts are full. When she is tired, my arms cradle her. When I go to a women’s conference, she comes with me.
So do your church a favor, show love to your nursing mothers. Show them that they matter, that they are cared about, thought about, remembered, included, and wanted with you at your church. Because we do matter.

For more Scripture on Breastfeeding: Click HereIMG_4800

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How many of us with breastfed babies have gone to a wellness visit to find out our little ones are really low on their growth charts? From how many moms I’ve heard talk about this, I’m guessing there is a good show of hands! And for first time moms, or first time breastfeeding moms, or- heck- even us experienced mom, it can be startling to have a pediatrician look at your baby and think they are underfed! Rest assure, though, if your breastfed baby is low on the growth chart– there could be a good reason for it. Your doctor may be using the wrong chart!

There are two charts widely used in the US. The CDC’s growth chart is the more widely used chart and reflects mostly formula fed babies. Then there is the WHO growth chart that uses Exclusively breastfed babies. It may not seem like it would be a big deal which chart a pediatrician uses but breastfed and formula fed babies grow and thrive differently. Formula fed babies grow more rapidly and growth doesn’t slow down as drastically for them after 6 months of age, while the breastfed baby has slow steady weight gain that decreases even more as they get more mobile. So, when using the CDC chart on a breastfed baby, it’s quite easy for the baby to look like they are having insufficient growth or irregular growth patterns.

The problem with breastfed babies falling on the growth charts is that the moms will often get pressured to use formula very early on. Milk Supply goes into question and pediatricians, who are often lacking in sufficient breastfeeding knowledge, give misguided advice to the mom, like pumping to see how much milk she has or giving formula after each nursing session. Or the pediatrician may quickly recommend a visit to an endocrinologist, where baby will have to undergo intrusive testing, when it may not even be necessary. Even my own pediatrician was giving out booby-trap information and saying that babies urine output had nothing to do with if they got enough milk (which is incorrect)

Many pediatricians also do not take size of the parents and their family genetics into account. I have known mothers who barely skim 5 feet tall and are married to 5 foot 6 inch tall men that are concerned because their doctor said their breastfed baby is only at the 5% line. Typically, tiny couples do not have enormous babies. Many families have told me that their doctors didn’t even take the size of the parents or their families into account when decided that their baby was suffering.
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While doctors are being urged to switch to the WHO chart, since breast milk has been universally agreed upon to be the healthier option and should be the standard for infant diet, many doctors have not yet gotten on board since the AAP has not made any updated guidelines specifying chart use. Some pediatricians have begun tracking BMI, which seems to be a balanced way of measuring all babies, whether breastfed or formula fed but it has continued to give parents stress about their child being in a healthy range for their age, since a toddler at 50% for weight and 10% at height will now fall under obese.

Try not to stress too much. Ask your pediatrician what chart he/she is using and what other factors he is taking into consideration before getting worried about baby size. And If you breastfed infants health is in question- please, Go to a Lactation Consultant! IBCLC’s are 10x more trained to deal with and help you with breastfeeding issues, including evaluating your milk supply, over the pediatrician. Good Luck mama!


Part 2 of the “Your Kids are Worth it” series.

I know breastfeeding is hard. It can be really uncomfortable. It can be awkward when around others. It can take a lot of getting used to, physically, mentally and emotionally. It can cause clogged ducts and mastitis. It can cause family members and friends to start problems with you. It can cause strangers in the mall to give you attitude, even. And, most of all, for a tiny 2% of us (but a REAL 2%) it can be impossible. There is sacrifice involved to breastfeed our babies.
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If you can overcome and fight through the awkwardness and learning to latch right and learning to trust your body to make enough and get through those hardships, your child is worth it. And there are people around who can help you and support you and WANT to help and support you while you battle through the hardships of figuring out breastfeeding.

Why is breastfeeding worth it? It’s natural. That may not mean a ton but lets put it this way- it is babies perfect food. Your breast milk is perfectly balanced for your baby. It even changes for your baby as their needs change. Breast milk gives your baby all of the vitamins and nutrients they need, even if your diet is far from perfect. Your breast milk also changes in fats as your baby gets bigger and needs more fatty milk. When there are germs around, your breast milk is a constant source of antibodies going right to your baby to protect them from illness. Also, it is full of hormones that induce thyroid growth and get the babies body up and functioning the way it is meant to. While breast milk is not the only solution for your baby to meet their dietary needs, it is by far the best and most nutritionally dense option.  Click Here for ingredients in breast milk

Not only does this mega source of nutrient dense food give baby a better start, it also effects long term health. This does not mean formula fed people are all unhealthy and malnourished for the rest of their lives. I understand that many of us were formula fed and are doing quite well now. It means, we could be doing even better than well, had we been fed differently. Babies who are breastfed show to have lower rates of high blood pressure, cholesterol, obesity and type 2 diabetes.

A concern for many parents is work. Most moms today need to work and breastfeeding and working full time can be really difficult to swing. Pumping isn’t fun but with the breast pumps we now have access to today, it is quick and possible to pump at work. Plus, state laws are written in your favor to make sure you have the time and space you need to pump milk while you are at work. If buying a pump is too costly, most hospitals and IBCLC’s have hospital grade pump rentals available.

For moms who cannot breastfeed, this can be a huge heartache of a subject. My heart goes out to you if you are one of them. Please know, though, that your options are not limited to strictly formula. There are milk exchange programs. I know the thought of handling some else (especially a strangers) breastmilk can be uncomfortable and safety is even a concern for some. Most moms who breastfeed and take the time to pump and donate to those in need, typically aren’t the type who are also participating in drugs or dangerous activities that negatively effect breastmilk. Rest assure, though, you can interview and find out info about your donor. Also, some organizations will screen their donors as well. If you are in need of donor breast milk here are some places you can begin your search. milkshare  ,  Eats on Feets , Human Milk 4 Human Babies. Also, you can contact you local Le Leche League group. Many moms pump and have extra that they would be more than happy to donate and an LLL group is a fantastic way to find those moms who are local to you. Even if you can’t get enough milk from donation to meet 100% of babies milk needs, it will benefit them to have part of their diet from breastmilk. For a mom who is struggling with supply and needs to use another source, whether it’s another mothers milk or formula, but still wants the bonding and closeness that comes with breastfeeding or is still trying to induce lactation or a higher milk supply in herself, there is also the option of using an SNS, which allows the mother to feed baby at the breast still.
Grace nursing

So, while breastfeeding is not always easy, it is often possible. There are lots of places to go for help with breastfeeding. You can even just start asking questions on twitter to amazing, knowledgeable people like Desirre Andrews (CLE) and Nancy Holtzman (RN IBCLC). Or you can go to Kellymom where there is tons of reliable, evidence based breastfeeding information. For concerns, questions, fears, or just needing encouragement to breastfeed, there are also amazing organizations like Best for Babes, where they always speak the truth in love, are gentle and completely understand your hesitations about whether breastfeeding is something you want to do. If you need hands on support or you just want to go see what breastfeeding is really like, you can attend a Le Leche League meeting. You do not have to have a baby already to go. They will welcome you with open arms even if you are just going to learn more before you make a decision. You can also call your hospital or do a google search to find IBCLC’s in your area who can work with you on any breastfeeding concerns or issues you are experiencing.

Breastfeeding is not always easy but with proper help and support, it does get easier. And these babies, who we conceived, grew in our wombs, birthed and now love so much- they are worth all that work and all that sacrifice. Their short term and long term health are worth trying. Whether that means trying to put stereotypes and awkward cultural ideas about our breasts aside so we can see our bodies and their relationship with our infants differently or means trying to overcome latching problems or unsupportive family and friends- these babies are worth it. And if you can’t, have peace in knowing you tried and did what you could. This post is not one of judgement but one of love, strength and encouragement.


I get a lot of people wanting to know why I am so passionate about babies being breastfed. Why does it matter? Why do I insist on talking about it? Why do I think it’s ok to do in public?
Besides for the thousands of medical, scientifically proven reasons to breastfeed, like breast milk provides your baby with all the nutrients he or she needs (while formula tries and constantly improves, is still missing many vital vitamins, nutrients and *hormones*- yes hormones, that baby needs to properly grow and develop), promotes bonding between mom and baby, decreases postpartum depression, is always the right temperature, is always ready, and never requires bottle washing- Not to mention to decreases moms AND baby girls chances of ever getting breast cancer, there is also a foundational reason to breastfeed. It is what we are biologically meant to do and how we were created to feed our babies. As a Christian, I firmly believe that God did it right the first time and no amount of tampering in a formula lab is going to make baby formula even come close to how God made it.
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The Bible actually speaks quite a bit about breastfeeding. Awhile back I wrote a Facebook note, (this note was also published on The Guggie Daily) listing scriptures that mentioned breastfeeding and throwing in bits of my own feedback throughout. This is going to be an updated, cleaned up version of that because that is what every Christian should be asking themselves if they are questioning appropriateness and the necessity of breastfeeding.

Luke 11:27 (New Living Translation)

 27 As he was speaking, a woman in the crowd called out, “God bless your mother—the womb from which you came, and the breasts that nursed you!
whoa mama! You just yelled over a crowd to Jesus about sucking on his moms breasts? And it was put into scripture?! Hey, why doesn’t this very public announcement to sucking on boobs not sound more offensive than this? Maybe because it simply is not considered offensive?
Being able to nurse and be nursed was actually considered a blessing and it was a curse for those who couldn’t.


Genesis 49:25

By the God of your father Who will help you, and by the Almighty Who will bless you with blessings of the heavens above, blessings lying in the deep beneath, blessings of the breasts and of the womb.

Have we come to the place where we consider the boobs who haven’t nursed to be the blessed ones?

Luke 23:29

For the time will come when you will say, ‘Blessed are the childless women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!

Have we become cruel by taking nursing away from our babies? By taking the perfect food that God created for our infants and replacing it with medical emergency replacement supplementation?

Lamentations 4:3

Even the jackals draw out the breast, they give suck to their young ones, but the daughter of my people has become cruel, like the ostriches in the wilderness { that desert their young}. The tongue of the nursing babe cleaves to the roof of its mouth for thirst; the young children beg for food, but no one gives it to them.
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I really dont believe God minds us feeding these delicate little babies who gave to us wherever we are at the time they need to be fed. After all, he himself invites nursing mothers and babies to a huge public affair.

Joel 2:16

Gather the people, consecrate the assembly; bring together the elders, gather the children, those nursing at the breast. Let the bridegroom leave his room and the bride her chamber.

After all, God speaks so fondly and comfortingly about breastfeeding.

Isaiah 60:16

You will drink the milk of nations and be nursed at royal breasts. Then you will know that I, the LORD, am your Savior, your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob.

He shows such compassion to these children that he loves so.

Isaiah 49:15

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

Scripture shows us what a high priority breastfeeding was and how it was encouraged to continue on until the right time for the mother and baby. The average weaning age during this period (and all people, if we allowed children to nurse until self weaned) is 3-5yrs!


I Samuel 1:21-23
And Elkanah, and all his house, went up to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice, and his vow. But Hannah did not go, for she said to her husband, I will not go until the child is weaned, and then I will bring him, that he may appear before the Lord, and remain there as long as he lives. Elkanah her husband said to her, Do what seems best to you, wait until you have weaned him; only, may the Lord establish His word. So Hannah remained and nursed her son until she weaned him.

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God considers a mother who breastfeeds to be devoted and one who cherishes.

I Thessalonians. 2:7-8

But we behaved gently when we were among you, like a devoted mother nursing and cherishing her own children. So, being thus tenderly and affectionately desirous of you, we continued to share with you not only God’s good news ( the Gospel) but also our own lives as well, for you had become so very dear to us.

Psalm 22:10

 9-11 And to think you were midwife at my birth, 

      setting me at my mother’s breasts! 

   When I left the womb you cradled me; 

      since the moment of birth you’ve been my God.

 

And there are even more examples of where God proves that he is not skittish about our breasts or the act of breastfeeding. Please, take note that he never hints at “being discreet” or using a public restroom to nurse in. He looks at breastfeeding as a beautiful act that embodies his closeness to us and his desire and ability to nourish and fill and love, all in one act. He often uses breastfeeding as a symbol to describe how he adores and cherishes us and nothing God does is indecent or something that needs to be hidden. So let your light shine. Let your baby nurse and let your shame and distorted views of this wholesome, pure act fall off of you.

Isaiah 66:11-13 

11 For you will nurse and be satisfied 

   at her comforting breasts; 

you will drink deeply 

   and delight in her overflowing abundance.”

 12 For this is what the LORD says:

   “I will extend peace to her like a river, 

   and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; 

you will nurse and be carried on her arm 

   and dandled on her knees. 

13 As a mother comforts her child, 

   so will I comfort you; 

   and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”

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Psalms 22:9

“Yet you are He who took me out of the womb; You made me hope and trust when I was on my mother’s breasts.”

Song of Solomon 7:8

“Let your breasts be as clusters of the grapevine, and the scent of your breath like apples..””I resolve I will climb the palm tree, I will grasp its branches. “

 

Hosea 1:8

“Now when [Gomer] had weaned Loruhamah, she became pregnant again and bore a son.”

Isaiah 40:11

“He will feed His flock like a shepherd, He will gather the lambs in His arm, He will carry them in His bosom, and will gently lead those that have their young.”

Genesis 21:7
And she added, “Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age.”

Proverbs 5:19

19 A loving doe, a graceful deer— 

   may her breasts satisfy you always, 

   may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

Song of Solomon 8:1

If only you were to me like a brother, who was nursed at my mother’s breasts! Then, if I found you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me.

Isaiah 28:9

“Who is it he is trying to teach? To whom is he explaining his message? To children weaned from their milk, to those just taken from the breast?

*disclosure- I do not think moms who can not nurse or have a medical condition, or have adopted children are cruel or doing anything wrong. I simply want people to see the beauty in breastfeeding and for those of us who have been blessed with the ability to nurse not be put down or shamed for it when God clearly created it to be a pure and wholesome way to nourish our babies*